Research shows children benefit from mindfulness practices, such as learning to pause for a breath. My kids are learning to “smell the cookies; blow out the candles” with promising results.
Mindfulness practices, meditation, and breathing have been around for centuries, yet they seem to be gaining popularity in western culture. As they become more mainstream, they garner more research attention. Although there isn’t an overwhelming number of studies dedicated to mindfulness programs for children, the evidence published thus far is encouraging. I experienced the value first-hand during our family vacation last week. There is real value in teaching all children to pause for a breath.
Imagine the possibilities
You would think pausing for a breath would be easy. It’s automatic and requires no conscious thought. We do it all day, every day. But that’s also part of the problem. It’s so easy to ignore your breath. Often, there is no motivation to become mindful of your breath until you develop a physical or mental ailment. The problem (an ailment) leads to the solution (breathing/mindfulness). But what if we flipped it? Wouldn’t it be better to teach the solution first to avoid the ailment altogether?
For example, I’ve been diligently working on my breathing since starting my Commitment to Calm. However, I first became aware of the importance of breathing when diagnosed with anxiety in college. That’s when I realized I was completely disconnected from my breath and stuck in my head instead of living in the present moment. I was 20 at the time and have been a work in progress ever since.
However, if I had been taught to pause for a breath at a younger age perhaps it wouldn’t have been such a struggle. Maybe I would have been better equipped to deal with my anxiety. Or, maybe I wouldn’t have experienced anxiety at all. Imagine all the ways in which learning to be mindful as a youth could be beneficial. How many ailments, challenges, or disorders could be helped? I wish I had learned this skill sooner, and therefore am trying to teach my kids to pause for a breath.
If every 8-year-old in the world is taught meditation, we will eliminate violence in the world within one generation.
Dalai LamA
Why we should teach kids to pause for a breath
Several studies document the positive effects of mindfulness for children. Although each intervention is slightly different, they all involve a pause to focus on the breath. Whether to improve well-being, treat anxiety, decrease pain, or improve behavior, the research is convincing.
Pausing for a breath can improve children’s mental health
A meta-analysis, which coalesces data from multiple studies, concluded mindfulness interventions for children under the age of 18 were helpful in improving psychological symptoms.[1] In one study, children who completed mindfulness training showed improvements in both attention and anxiety scores.[2] A separate six-week trial in anxious children aged 7-8, showed they could be taught mindfulness techniques to decrease their anxiety.[3]
More specifically, in a randomized clinical trial, a mindfulness-based stress reduction (MBSR) program benefited adolescent children in an outpatient mental health setting.[4] This 5-month study provided MBSR training to children 14-18 years old. When compared to the control group, those who received the additional training reported less anxiety, depression, and sleep disturbances while also experiencing improved self-esteem and sleep quality.
The improvements in mental health were corroborated with diagnostic scores. In other words, clinicians assessed the young patients and observed the same improvements as were self-reported. To further validate the results, it’s important to note these clinicians were unaware if the patient received the MBSR or was in the control group when completing the diagnostic assessments. Thus, teaching kids to breath and be mindful improves mental health.
Pausing for a breath can reduce children’s pain
Teaching children to pause for a breath can be helpful during a painful medical procedure. In a study of children undergoing a catheter insertion, those taught to breathe experienced significantly less pain compared to the control group.[5] These children were taught a breathing exercise known as Hey-hu. The child took a deep breath and whispered “Hey” while exhaling. Next, they took another deep breath and whispered “Hu” on the exhale. They repeated the Hey-hu exercise for one minute before and during catheter insertion. Breathing provided a relatively quick and easy way for the children to control their pain.
Pausing for a breath can reduce children’s blood pressure
In another study, ninth grade students were taught Breathing Awareness Meditation (BAM), a practice of being present, focusing on the breath, and passively observing thoughts.[6] Subjects participated in ten-minute BAM sessions during their health education classes for three months. In addition, they completed ten-minute BAM sessions at home, once each weekday and twice on weekend days. This group of students experienced the greatest decrease in blood pressure compared to the control group.
Pausing for a breath can improve children’s executive functioning
In psychology, executive functions (EF) include those higher-level mental processes you might associate with someone in charge, or an executive. This includes functions like emotion and impulse control, flexible thinking, planning, and monitoring. Learning to be mindful can improve children’s executive functioning.[7] Children, ages 7-9, were administered a mindful awareness practices (MAPs) program at their school. It was delivered for half an hour, twice a week, for eight weeks. Questionnaire scores from both teachers and parents were analyzed and revealed an improvement in EF for those participating in the MAPs program. Children with lower EF scores to begin with benefited the most from the intervention.
Thus, it is apparent we can teach kids how to breathe, and we should be teaching this at an early age. In fact, I have personal experience with something similar. My youngest son, Victor, was taught how to pause for a breath in preschool.
“Smell the cookies; Blow out the candles“
How to teach kids to pause for a breath
Victor was born extremely premature. It was a roller coaster, but he is a fighter who came out victorious. Hence, his name. To help him catch up to his peers, he attended developmental preschool for a few years. Among other things, this program provided occupational, physical, and speech therapies in the classroom. This is where he learned to pause for a breath.
Often, children with a developmental delay experience frustration. Victor is no different. When it takes him longer to get his words out, he might default to aggression. To teach Victor and his peers to be calm, they were taught to “smell the cookies; blow out the candles.” His teacher, Ms. Judy, gave these instructions aloud. As she said, “smell the cookies,” the kids held their palms up to their faces and took a deep inhale through their noses. Then, when she said, “blow out the candles,” they would give a big dramatic exhale through their mouths as if blowing out a bunch of candles.
The first time I saw Victor smell the cookies and blow out the candles it made me chuckle. It was precious. But it wasn’t just adorable, it was a coping mechanism. Victor was being taught something I’m still trying to learn as an adult. I wish my preschool teacher had taught me to take a deep breath decades ago. Ms. Judy used this cue to quiet the kids down before circle time and as needed throughout the day. At the ripe age of three Victor was learning the calming power of the breath.
I was intrigued and asked Ms. Judy how she came up with the idea. She learned the technique from another developmental preschool teacher, and it’s simply been passed down. When she tried it in the classroom, she found it worked. Just imagine how beneficial it could be if all students learned to pause for a breath before reacting to their emotions. This could be a real game changer.
Tip: Teach your kids to breathe before the moment is heated
We started using the que at home as well. At first it was sort of a joke, but the kids caught on and will occasionally remind Victor to take a breath. I’ve found more success in getting the kids to practice smelling the cookies and blowing out the candles when they are happy or neutral. If Rocco is already angry with me and I tell him to “smell the cookies!” he will roll his eyes at me and be noncompliant. However, all of them are willing to practice when the moment is non-confrontational. We’ve done it together before bed and in the morning at breakfast. The hope is that they are practicing breathing, slowly learning the value in pausing for a breath, and will be capable of using the technique in the future when they need it.
Kids really do “get it”
Although we’ve had some success, I’m sure my family would benefit from practicing on a more consistent basis. All the studies discussed above involved scheduled programs with regular mindfulness practice. For the full effect, breathing does need to be practiced consistently. Honestly, I wasn’t sure my kids were really grasping the importance of breathing. Until last week.
The boys were off from school last week for Spring Break, and we took a family road trip. I love my family, but there is something about the first day of a family vacation that can be particularly difficult. I’m not sure if it’s the stress of getting a family of five out the door, the erratic energy of three boys cooped up in a car, or just my generally low tolerance for stimulation, but I was grumpy by the end of day one.
I needed a timeout to decompress, but we were staying in a suite without a separate bedroom. As Rocco was bouncing a ball through the room, Victor was putting his shoes on the wrong foot for the fourth time, and Ike was needing my attention, Andrew warned the boys to give me some space.
That’s when Ike innocently chimed in. Always the sensitive one, he said, “Mom, don’t forget to smell the cookies and blow out the candles. Just take a deep breath. You’ll feel better.” I did as he instructed, and it helped. It didn’t solve all my problems or instantly take the stress away, but it was decompression I needed. In that moment, Ike was teaching me to be mindful. He’s seven.
So yeah, kids can and should learn to pause for a breath. My kids understand what it means to smell the cookies and blow out the candles. Ike inspired me to be more consistent with the boys. Just as I am trying to be consistent in my own mediation practice, I need to be consistent in practicing with them. Despite their young age, they’ve learned the power of pausing for a deep breath.
Have you taught your kids to take a deep breath? Tell me about it. Leave me a comment!
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[1] Zoogman, S., Goldberg, S.B., Hoyt, W.T. et al. Mindfulness Interventions with Youth: A Meta-Analysis. Mindfulness 6, 290–302 (2015). https://doi.org/10.1007/s12671-013-0260-4
[2] Semple, R. J., Lee, J., Rosa, D., and Miller, L. F. (2010). A randomized trial of mindfulness-based cognitive therapy for children: promoting mindful attention to enhance social-emotional resiliency in children. J. Child Fam. Stud. 19, 218–229. doi: 10.1007/s10826-009-9301-y
[3] Semple, R. J., Reid, E. F., and Miller, L. (2005). Treating anxiety with mindfulness: an open trial of mindfulness training for anxious children. J. Cogn. Psychother. 19, 379–392. doi: 10.1891/jcop.2005.19.4.379
[4] Biegel, G. M., Brown, K. W., Shapiro, S. L., and Schubert, C. M. (2009). Mindfulness-based stress reduction for the treatment of adolescent psychiatric outpatients: a randomized clinical trial. J. Consult. Clin. Psychol. 77, 855–866. doi: 10.1037/a0016241
[5] Bagheriyan, S., Borhani, F., Abbaszadeh, A., & Ranjbar, H. (2011). The effects of regular breathing exercise and making bubbles on the pain of catheter insertion in school age children. Iranian journal of nursing and midwifery research, 16(2), 174–180.
[6] Gregoski, M. J., Barnes, V. A., Tingen, M. S., Harshfield, G. A., & Treiber, F. A. (2011). Breathing awareness meditation and LifeSkills Training programs influence upon ambulatory blood pressure and sodium excretion among African American adolescents. The Journal of adolescent health: official publication of the Society for Adolescent Medicine, 48(1), 59–64. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jadohealth.2010.05.019
[7] Lisa Flook, Susan L. Smalley, M. Jennifer Kitil, Brian M. Galla, Susan Kaiser-Greenland, Jill Locke, Eric Ishijima & Connie Kasari (2010) Effects of Mindful Awareness Practices on Executive Functions in Elementary School Children, Journal of Applied School Psychology, 26:1, 70-95, DOI: 10.1080/15377900903379125
I love this!
Thank you for the encouragement!