Commit to Calm Day Two

Practicing self-compassion while working on new habits impacts your success. This was my reminder as I work to create more calm in my life.

This morning, Good Morning America aired a segment on the importance of self-compassion when working on new habits. Watch the whole segment here. This was especially apropos because I have a very harsh inner mean girl, as pointed out recently by my therapist. I need to be kinder to myself and learn to talk to myself the same way I would talk to a close friend. Unfortunately, I’m much kinder to others than I am to myself.

Experts suggest that self-compassion is the best way to love yourself and create sustainable change in your life.

Good Morning America Segment

As one expert pointed out in the segment, we have a “mass epidemic of self-harm.” To make new habits more successful, we need to focus on being kind to ourselves. According to the science, there are five ways we can practice self-compassion.

  1. Accept yourself as you are.
  2. Be grateful for your body.
  3. Speak to yourself like a friend.
  4. Use past struggles to give you strength.
  5. Meditate.

This reminder could not have come at a better time. Just prior to the Good Morning America segment, Andrew and I were discussing my Commitment to Calm. I told him I was going to work on my breathing today. It’s important to make new habits easy and attractive, as I pointed out yesterday.

Ten minutes seems like a cinch, and I love the experience of laying down for a few minutes and just breathing. This habit is perceived to be both attractive and easy. Check and check! Prioritizing the time is where I struggle (along with getting everyone to leave me alone for 10 minutes!).

Accepting where I am right now, not where I want to be someday

“When it comes to meditation, that can be a lot for a beginner,” he correctly pointed out. Huh. Very true. Ten minutes of trying to force a meditation or even just practicing breathing can be an eternity if your mind isn’t cooperating. It’s particularly difficult if you are feeling frustrated with yourself and your inner dialogue is brutal.

What’s funny is I hadn’t even taken this into consideration. As I explained when I decided to Commit to Calm, ten minutes seems like a pretty easy amount of time to dedicate to self-care. I was purposely trying to create some easy wins. But maybe ten minutes won’t be quite as easy as I previously anticipated. Maybe just taking a few breaths today, really feeling the inhalation and exhalation, are good enough.

Self-compassion and my Commitment to Calm

Watching the segment and hearing Andrew’s comment were good reminders to go easy on myself as I embark on this journey. Accepting where I am today and talking to myself kindly will make this easier and sustainable. The whole point is to create calm in my life, not to uphold unreasonable expectations or beat myself up. I need to practice self-compassion when working on these new habits.

The time limit isn’t important and it’s not about crossing a task off the list for today. This is about the process. And if I silence that inner bully, maybe it’s more than just good enough. Maybe it’s amazing. Let’s celebrate our successes today, even if that means being happy with just a few good breaths.

Are there areas in which you need to practice more self-compassion? Leave me a comment!

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