Playing, or making time for enjoyable activities, is often neglected as we become adults. Yet, play can improve well-being and boost resilience. Get the details on why we should all make time for fun again.

Do you make time for play? If you’re like me and millions of other adults, playful activities are frequently put on the back burner so the more pressing “adulting” can occur. However, research shows that play is important for childhood development and remains crucial throughout the remainder of our lives.

I posted a more comprehensive discussion of play here!

What Is Play?

Play means something different to each person. In essence, it’s those activities we engage in solely for the enjoyment they bring us. One of the key researchers of play, Dr. Stuart Brown, defines play as purposeless, voluntary, and pleasurable.[1]

Play & Well-being

There’s quite a bit of data to support the idea that play is fundamental in both youth and adulthood. In his career, Brown conducted or reviewed thousands of clinical play histories which supported the value of play.

Play “assures the fulfilled player a better quality of life, decreases stress, connects them better with their particular communities, keeps them optimistic,…(and) fosters empathy.”[2]

Among other things, play is an evidence-based way to:

Decrease Anxiety

Extensive research has shown that play decreases anxiety in children.[3] [4] [5] [6]

Build Relationships

Play can counter loneliness and sadness when it involves others. When we engage in a game or activity with our peers, it helps us maintain social bonds, stay mentally sharp, and boost overall well-being.

Let Go Of Perfectionism

Play centers on curiosity, awe, experimentation, and tolerance for mistakes.[7] Thus, play can help us let go of the perfectionism that often makes life less enjoyable.

Quiet Mental Chatter

According to Brown and Eberle, play can be a source of refuge because it quiets the mind from chatter and worry. When we’re fully engrossed in an enjoyable activity, we aren’t able to give much attention to the mean voices in our heads.

Find Flow

Playing is an opportunity to experience flow, which can boost happiness.[8] Flow occurs when a person becomes completely immersed in an enjoyable activity. All sense of self-consciousness and time melt away as the person is completely absorbed in the task. Flow activities are so enjoyable, intrinsically rewarding, and engaging, the person becomes fully present in the moment.

Re-Prioritizing Play

Perhaps a reframing of play is in order. Adults are more likely to prioritize play if they understand the benefits. In The Happiness Advantage Shawn Achor summarized this argument perfectly. “If our mindset conceives of free time, hobby time, or family time as non-productive, then we will, in fact, make it a waste of time.”[9] In other words, if we don’t rethink play, we won’t do it.

For more lessons from The Happiness Advantage, read this!

How To Play More

Engaging in play makes life a lot more enjoyable and tolerable. It’s ingrained in who we are and how we relate to each other. Plus, it can help quiet the mind and increase our tolerance for anxiety. Although the very nature of play is purposeless, it’s clear that it serves a critical function in well-being.

If you haven’t played much as an adult, it might take some time to figure out what play activities are best for you.

Here are a few questions to help you get started: [7]

  1. What did you consider fun as a child?
  2. What makes you come alive with awe, interest, or enthusiasm?
  3. Is there a form of play you could do with friends and/or family?
  4. What activities make you feel happiest, silliest, or most engaged?
  5. What activities do you lose yourself in?

Use your answers to these questions to generate a list of potential activities that you could find playful or enjoyable. There’s no time like the present to get started. It can be as simple as setting aside 10 minutes tonight to play.

It’s important to remember that play is something very productive, a way to form relationships, calm our minds and bodies, and build resilience. The task list will always be there, and play is a way to make sure we are better equipped to handle it. We owe it to ourselves to make play a priority.

Small Changes, Big Transformation

Play is one small change we can make to prioritize our health and build resilience. Wellness doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming. Give this practice a try this week and let me know how it goes!

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[1] Brown, S., & Eberle, M. (2017). A closer look at play. Play and creativity in psychotherapy.

[2] https://secure.viewer.zmags.com/publication/38a71867

[3] Hateli, B. (2021). The effect of non‐directive play therapy on reduction of anxiety disorders in young children. Counselling and Psychotherapy Research.

[4] Barnett, L. A., & Storm, B. (1981). Play, pleasure, and pain: The reduction of anxiety through play. Leisure Sciences, 4(2), 161-175.

[5] Khojasteh, S. (2020). The effectiveness of sand play therapy on anxiety and achievement motivation of primary school students. Quarterly Journal of Child Mental Health, 7(1), 68-80.

[6] Li, W. H., Chung, J. O. K., Ho, K. Y., & Kwok, B. M. C. (2016). Play interventions to reduce anxiety and negative emotions in hospitalized children. BMC pediatrics, 16(1), 1-9.

[7] “Find Your Inner Genius” talk at Awakening Creativity: The Being & Doing Conference

[8] Nakamura J., Csikszentmihalyi M. (2014) The Concept of Flow. In: Flow and the Foundations of Positive Psychology. Springer, Dordrecht. https://doi.org/10.1007/978-94-017-9088-8_16

[9] Achor, S. (2010). The Happiness Advantage. New York: Crown Business. p. 73