A simple 20-second technique of self-compassionate touch can decrease stress, increase self-compassion, and more! Here’s how to get started with self-compassionate touch for stress relief.
Video Discussion
Self-Compassionate Touch Key Take-Away Points
Why self-compassionate touch for stress works:
- Paying attention to physical sensations get us out of our heads and down into our bodies.
- From an evolutionary perspective, caring touch is what helps us feel safe, which we learn as infants.
- Touch stimulates the parasympathetic nervous system, which is responsible for rest-and-digest functions that counter fight-flight-freeze functions.
- Soothing touch can reduce cortisol (stress hormone) and increase oxytocin (“feel good” hormone).
New study on the positive effects of self-compassionate touch:
Self-compassionate touch involves placing your hands on your body (heart or belly) and thinking in a way that induces feelings of kindness and warmth towards yourself.
- It can be effective when done for just 20 seconds!
- You can also try giving yourself a hug or stroking your upper arms.
Self-compassionate touch was shown to:
- Decrease stress
- Increase self-compassion
- Decrease negative feelings like being depressed or anxious (psychopathy)
How to practice self-compassionate touch for stress relief:
Choose one “cue” to help you remember to practice every day:
- The way you feel physically when stressed, i.e. heart racing or sweaty palms
- When you start feeling bad about yourself, i.e. judgmental thoughts
- As part of your daily routine, i.e. brushing your teeth or getting out of bed
Identify what type of touch you will use to calm yourself:
- Hands on heart/chest
- One hand on belly, one hand on heart
- Stroking arms or cheeks
- Self-hug
Identify one way you will think about yourself in a more compassionate way:
- Self-kindness: Talk to yourself like you would talk to a friend
- Common humanity: Consider how what you’re going through is part of the human condition and other people have felt just like you
- Mindfulness: Acknowledge your feelings without trying to change them
Helpful Links
- Previous articles on self-compassion:
- Kristin Neff’s tutorial video: She’s the self-compassion expert!
- And her discussion of soothing touch.
- Research article
Small Changes, Big Transformation
This is one small change we can make to prioritize our health and build resilience. Wellness doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming. Give this practice a try this week and let me know how it goes!
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