Relationships are the biggest predictor of happiness and well-being and a core area of integrative health. Here are five simple ways to boost your connections (and happiness!) today.
Looking for a simple way to boost your overall health and wellness? Consider looking at your quality of relationships. Notice I said quality, not quantity. That’s because quality relationships have a huge impact on our well-being, and there are some really simple practices we can use to foster them.
Research On Relationships & Happiness
One of the longest running psychological studies was conducted at Harvard, where researchers started following a group of men in the late 1930s. They wanted to know what distinguishes a happy, fulfilling life from a less successful one.
Many articles have been published online regarding this study, but I particularly like Shawn Achor’s discussion of it in The Happiness Advantage. Read more of my favorite lessons from his book here!
The Harvard researchers found the biggest characteristic that distinguished happy, successful people was their quality of relationships.[1]
Achor points to another study to further support this finding. Researchers looked at the happiest 10% of the population to see if there was something that makes these people different. What was the single biggest characteristic that distinguished happy, fulfilling lives from unsuccessful ones? You guessed it – relationships!
Relationships & Wellness
According to the integrative perspective, there are seven core areas of wellness, and not surprisingly, one of them is relationships:
- Movement
- Nutrition
- Resilience (stress management)
- Sleep
- Environment
- Purpose & Meaning
- Relationships
None of these areas are mutually exclusive, meaning they all interact and affect each other in a way that influences our overall health and wellness. So, relationships can influence our resilience just as resilience can influence our relationships. (I know when I’m really stressed out, my relationships suffer, and vice versa!)
Of note, Achor cites a study that looked at the connection between relationships and stress. Data showed that positive interactions with coworkers helped people’s cardiovascular system recover from work-related stress. Plus, relationships were shown to lower cortisol levels, a hormone associated with stress.
Relationships can also help with our mental state. Yet another study found that having someone to count on helps older people’s memory stay sharper longer. [2]
These findings highlight the importance of paying attention to quality relationships. Relationships are key to our wellness, not only in terms of feeling good, but in terms of managing our stress and helping with our overall health and longevity.
Five Simple Ways to Boost Your Relationships (And Happiness!) Today
So I’ve convinced you that relationships are key to your wellness, but you’re busy and don’t know where to start. Here are five simple, and relatively quick ways to boost your connections today.
#1. Email a coworker with something nice. Send an unsolicited email to a coworker and acknowledge something positive they’ve done. It doesn’t have to be huge, just a simple acknowledgement, thank you, or highlight.
If you have a little more time, consider sending a gratitude letter, an evidence-based way to boost their happiness, and yours!
#2. Reach out to a friend and schedule a time to catch up or meet in person. It only takes a few seconds to text a person you’ve wanted to catch up with. Ask to schedule a phone call, facetime, or in person meeting. Often we fail to plan these informal meetups, believing relationships should be more spontaneous. However, if we take a few minutes to reach out and get a friend on our schedule, we are much more likely to make time for these important moments.
#3. Send a text to someone you haven’t talked to in a while. Whether it’s a current coworker, former coworker, friend you lost touch with, or family member, reach out and let them know you’re thinking of them. It may feel weird at first to reach out for no reason, but trust me, people really appreciate knowing that someone thought of them. Going out on a limb like this can feel vulnerable, but have huge consequences for your well-being.
#4. Call an older family member: That thing you carry with you everywhere and probably use mainly to scroll social media? Yeah, your phone. Get back to the original purpose of the cell phone – call someone! It’s really nice to reach out to an older family member who doesn’t use text messaging, email, or social media (“Hi Grandma Betty!”) and make their day by letting them know you’re thinking of them. It doesn’t have to be a long conversation (see my video for a tip on how to preface the conversation to honor any time limit you may have).
#5. Sit down to eat a meal with someone: Make it a point to eat one of your meals today with another human being. It can be at work, at home, or even out in public. You have to eat anyway, so boost the impact by being more social. If you work in an office, have lunch in a common space (without your cell phone) and start a conversation. If you live with a family member, turn off the TV and sit together for your next meal. If you’re alone, try calling a friend or family member and catching up while you eat. You might just start a new tradition!
Each of these techniques can be accomplished with a small investment of time. When we pay attention to how we spend our time and are more purposeful with the time we have, we can create a huge positive impact on our well-being. It’s these little changes, done consistently, that result in transformations.
Small Changes, Big Transformation
Prioritizing social connections is one small change we can make to improve our health and build resilience. Wellness doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming. Give this practice a try this week and let me know how it goes!
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[1] As discussed in Achor, S. (2010). The happiness advantage: The seven principles of positive psychology that fuel success and performance at work. New York: Crown Business.
[2] https://www.mindful.org/what-makes-a-good-life-lessons-from-the-longest-study-on-happiness/?mc_cid=0ffb0cce99&mc_eid=249fb57f3d
