Learn simple, five-minute practices for decreasing stress through shared positive experiences. When we experience positive emotions with others, it can lower cortisol, a key stress hormone, and support real resilience.

It won’t surprise you to read that positive emotions are good for decreasing stress and building resilience. Yet, a recent study adds an interesting layer to this. According to the findings, we can decrease our cortisol more when we have positive experiences with others than when we have these experiences on our own.[1]

Below is a brief summary of the study and some simple ways you can start decreasing stress through shared positive experiences today.

Relationships and Stress Management

Shared positive experiences strengthen relationships, one of the core foundations of a fulfilling life. Relationships build a sense of connection, support emotional wellbeing, and help regulate stress in everyday life. When we intentionally create moments of shared positivity, we are not only improving mood, but shaping the emotional and physiological conditions that support resilience over time.

Shared Positive Experiences & Cortisol Reduction

A recent study asked: do older couples who have positive experiences together, show it in their bodies as lower cortisol (a key stress hormone)? The authors used “coexperienced positive emotions” as a way to measure what’s referred to as positive emotional resonance – those moments when two people feel uplifted at the same time, in the same space, in an emotionally aligned way.

Over 300 Canadian and German couples aged 56-89 participated for one week by completing short surveys 5-7 times per day. They also gave saliva samples at those same time points to measure cortisol. At each survey, they reported their current positive emotions, including ratings of being happy, relaxed, and engaged.

The authors considered “coexperienced positive emotions” to be when:

  • The partners were together in the same space, and
  • Both reported positive emotions higher than their own personal average (for that week)

In other words, they weren’t looking at baseline happiness, but rather happiness that was higher than the individual’s norm. They also controlled for many variables that could affect that individual’s cortisol, like time since waking, food and caffeine intake, physical activity, age, and sex, to name a few.

The results showed that when couples experienced positive emotions together, cortisol was lower. The reduction in cortisol was experienced when the couples shared feelings of happiness and relaxation, but not engagement. A simple interpretation may be that feeling calm or joyful together may be more physiologically soothing than feeling engaged or curious together.

There were a few interesting caveats. One, this result wasn’t dependent upon the couple being satisfied in their relationship. There was a decrease in cortisol after shared positive emotions, even for couples that lacked relationship satisfaction.

Two, the effects lasted beyond just that one shared moment. The couples coexperienced positive emotions predicted lower cortisol at the next assessment, but not vice versa. That pattern supports (but doesn’t prove) the idea that shared positive emotions may lead to more calm in the body, rather than the other way around.

Why Is Research Important For Stress Management?

This study reveals several important points.

Relationships Matter

It’s not only what you feel, but what you feel together that can decrease stress. Shared positive moments appear to decrease stress and build resilience, lowering cortisol in real time. Our stress response is influenced by these experiences, especially in close relationships. Stress management doesn’t have to be something we do by ourselves.

Small Moments Have Impact

This research illustrates that the small moments experienced together can be significant. It doesn’t require huge acts of connection or big dates on the calendar, but rather little moments of shared positivity can have a real impact – right here, right now.

How To Practice: 5 Ways To Decrease Stress Through Shared Positive Experiences

We don’t need a special occasion, a perfect relationship, or a lot of time to create moments of shared positivity. This is something we can practice and create in the everyday experiences we share with others.

We also don’t need to be married to reap the benefits of shared positive experiences. We can enjoy these moments with a partner, friend, family member, coworker, or anyone we’re connected to.

Plus, these require five-minutes (or less) so they’re designed to fit into real life, not add another task to your day.

1 – Share a photo or memory from a past experience

Relieve a special moment with a person who was there at the time.

  • Text a picture from your camera roll
  • Send a “Remember this?” message
  • Say: “This popped up and made me smile.”

This can be a reference to a trip, celebration, sentimental moment, or something completely ordinary. Reliving a positive experience together helps recreate the emotional tone of that moment, even if you’re not physically together.

2 – Make someone laugh

Share something that you both find humorous.

  • Share a joke
  • Text a funny meme
  • Reference an inside joke you shared in the past

Laughter creates instant emotional connection, and it doesn’t require deep conversation or perfect timing.

3 – Express gratitude for something specific

Take a moment to thank someone for something concrete they did or how they showed up for you.

  • “I really appreciated you doing ___.”
  • “It meant a lot when you ___.”
  • “I don’t always say this, but thank you for ___.”

Specific gratitude creates a shared emotional moment that feels genuine and grounding, not performative. Plus, it can be for something big or small.

4 – Savor a good moment as it’s happening

When something good is occurring, name it out loud.

  • “This is so nice to share with you.”
  • “Let’s pause and enjoy this.”
  • “This is awesome. Can you believe how lucky we are?”

That might happen when you are enjoying a meal, a quiet moment, a conversation, a walk, or even a peaceful pause in a busy day. Savoring helps both people slow down and register the moment instead of rushing past it.

5 – Offer a small act of care

Do something simple that makes someone’s day easier or lighter.

  • Drop off a coffee
  • Check in before a stressful meeting
  • Say: “Thinking of you today.”

These moments create shared positivity through care and presence, not just words.

These practices aren’t about big moments, forcing positivity, or creating constant connection. They can be done via text message, email, snail mail, or in-person, allowing you to build small, shared positive moments into normal life – moments that are easy to repeat, easy to sustain, and realistic even when life is busy and stressful.

Not ready to practice with others just yet? No problem. You can try a few of these on your own first. Learn how here:

Over time, these micro-connections add up to something meaningful: relationships that provide a sense of connection, help you feel fulfilled, and even regulate stress at the physiological level, too.

Simple, Science-Based Habits

This is one example of how you can build real resilience without adding more to your plate. Through simple, evidence-based habits and my Take Five Framework, you can feel calmer and be more resilient.

Ready to put this into practice?

If you’re ready to move beyond reading and start applying these tools in real life, I can help. I work with individuals who look like they’re holding it together on the outside but feel chronically stressed, overwhelmed, or burned out on the inside. I also partner with organizations that want employees who can stay calm, focused, and resilient under pressure. Let’s work on it!

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[1] https://www.apa.org/pubs/journals/releases/psp-pspp0000564.pdf