Commit to Calm Day 4
Meditation is a process and a practice. Read about how I’m working on calm by experimenting with different meditation techniques.
I’ve experimented with meditation practice since my initial anxiety diagnosis in my very early twenties. It was first recommended to me by the psychologist I was seeing for my anxiety. In fact, research supports the notion that meditation can relieve stress and reduce anxiety.[1] So, I read a book, bought a guided meditation CD (really dating myself here!), and had some successes. My best experiences came from the guided meditation, which was extremely helpful in learning to just lay down and be calm.
Meditation isn’t a task to check off the list
Despite some good results, I never developed a routine. I found it hard to carve out the time, especially if it required thirty minutes. Every other task was a priority over meditating. As I discussed yesterday, it is easier to focus on my to-do list instead. I can make time for self-care like working out or dieting because the result is more tangible and measurable. I like data and checked boxes.
The struggle to dedicate the time continued throughout my twenties and thirties. Some periods of my life I successfully meditated regularly, even if just for five minutes. But there have been much longer periods of time when I abandoned it as a practice. It is not because I didn’t think meditation had benefits, but because I failed to prioritize it even though it was important.
Rebecca Gladding is a doctor who often prescribes meditation to patients struggling to quiet their mind. She hears this same excuse from her patients. In a Psychology Today article, she offers a few recommendations:
- Don’t be so hard on yourself. (Here’s that self-compassion element. Again!)
- Accept that meditation is a practice with no one right way to do it.
It’s all about practice. It’s about sitting in meditation, even when your thoughts are all over the place, and catching whatever thoughts you can. Noticing them and then bringing your attention back to your anchor (which for most people is their breath).
Rebecca Gladding, MD
This is a paradigm shift for me, especially because prioritizing meditation does not come naturally to me. I like to do things and meditation is about being. You do not cross meditation off a list. It is never really done. Instead, it’s a practice.
Experimenting with meditation practice
When I returned to therapy in 2019, I was encouraged to create a space to practice relaxing. I was told to view it like an experiment that takes time to figure out. Maybe I won’t be good at it at first. I will have to try things several times before I know what works. This is a challenge for me – not being good at something, not knowing exactly what I am doing, having to keep trying, even if it does not work at first.
Despite the challenges, meditation keeps pulling me back. There is something in meditation I can’t get anywhere else. It is a huge focus of this blog – the journey to testing solutions and finding calm. It might look different for me than for you – in time of day, setting, position of my body, length of time, guided or not. The differences are endless. Finding what works is key, along with simply practicing.
Practice is key
Practice makes permanent.
Dale Carnegie
When I used to conduct Dale Carnegie training, we emphasized to our participants that practice makes permanent. Contrary to the popular saying, practice does not always make perfect. Whatever we practice becomes who we are or how we behave, perfect or not. The same must be true for meditation. Setting the intention with the Commitment to Calm was the first step. Now comes the practice.
Two different meditation experiences:
Headspace
Two times this week Andrew and I meditated together. The first time, we used Headspace, the free app for guided meditations. It was not our first time using it. Since it has been a while, we started at the beginning, playing the first session. We chose the ten-minute option. I liked the ease of use and the clear instructions. It did not have too much of a “new age” feel, but rather felt like it was a meditation for everyone. Plus, the narrator’s accent is amazing.
Tara Brach
The second time, we listened to a guided mediation by Tara Brach. She is the author of multiple books and offers a great website full of resources. One section offers guided meditations in various lengths (even one minute!). Brach certainly feels softer and more focused on the emotional aspects than Headspace. I chose her 10-minute Basic Meditation Practice.
Whereas both experiences were successful, I preferred Brach and Andrew preferred Headspace. I like how Brach offers a guided exercise in the beginning but also includes several minutes of quiet to allow you to continue on your own. At some points, I found the constant guide of Headspace to be distracting. So, the few minutes of silence was my favorite part of Brach’s meditation. I also love the bells she rings at the conclusion of the session. In contrast, Andrew prefers to be guided the whole time. He actually fell asleep during the Brach meditation and then stressed about missing something.
Meditation practice and my Commitment to Calm
As we continue to try different meditation techniques, I’m confident we’ll each find what works for us as individuals. There’s something different for everyone. The key is to simply practice. We enjoyed each of the experiences and felt calmer afterwards. Meditating regularly would have a huge impact on my mental health. These experiences motivate me to keep working on calm and experimenting with meditation.
Tell me about your meditation experiments. What works for you? Leave me a comment!
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[1] Hoge, E. A., Bui, E., Marques, L., Metcalf, C. A., Morris, L. K., Robinaugh, D. J., Worthington, J. J., Pollack, M. H., & Simon, N. M. (2013). Randomized controlled trial of mindfulness meditation for generalized anxiety disorder: effects on anxiety and stress reactivity. The Journal of clinical psychiatry, 74(8), 786–792. https://doi.org/10.4088/JCP.12m08083
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