A reminder from The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People
Revisiting a classic book reminded me we can’t be effective without prioritizing our own self-care. Address these four dimensions of self-renewal to make it a habit.
Stephen R. Covey’s The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People: Powerful Lessons in Personal Change may be over thirty years old, but the lessons still hold true today. At the foundation of his definition of personal effectiveness is self-renewal. This metaphorical recharging of our batteries is a necessary investment in ourselves. To make self-renewal a habit, we must prioritize our own self-care and address all four dimensions of self-renewal.
Old lesson, new application
I was sitting at my desk this weekend in need of some motivation. After getting all the tax info sent off to the accountant, answering emails, and completing other equally boring but necessary tasks, my mind was mushy. Feeling uninspired for the day, I turned to the bookcase on my left and spotted an old classic tucked between my other management books. Revisiting The Seven Habits was a great reminder of the value in prioritizing my own self-care. It inspired me to step away from the to-do list and focus on more valuable activities.
My copy of this classic leadership and management book was probably printed 30 years ago and has the yellowing pages to prove it. I read it when I was a new management consultant. My boss at the time was a big proponent of Covey’s lessons, and he wasn’t the only fan. The book was a New York Times bestseller, selling over 40 million copies.[1] Although there’s nothing revolutionary about any of the habits, the book was successful in addressing the human side of management – management of others and oneself. Covey gives both personal and professional applications, but the habits are really about living a principled life.
As I flipped through the pages this weekend, I was struck by “Habit 7: Sharpen the Saw,” which Covey defines as fundamental to the other six habits. To sharpen the saw refers to Covey’s story of an ineffective tree cutter. He is exhausted from the grueling work of cutting down a tree with a hand saw. Despite his fatigue, the tree cutter is focused on finishing the task at hand. He is unwilling to take the time to stop and sharpen his saw. He has no time! His determination to finish the task makes him blind to the fact that if he just stopped to sharpen his tool, he would be more effective.
This story is analogous to our need to prioritize self-care in order to be more effective in everything else we do. Sharpening the saw, or balanced self-renewal, is the habit that makes all other habits of effectiveness possible. Covey argues our own effectiveness lies in the balance between what we produce and our capability to produce. If we live a life focused on producing while neglecting self-care, we will deplete our capacity to be productive.
When I originally read the book, this point was lost on me. As a Ph.D. student and new management consultant I had a full plate. Other than working out in the morning (which was more about punishing my body than being healthy), I didn’t have time for self-renewal. My life was unbalanced, with a heavy focus on producing. I focused on the first six habits, which I needed to be good at my job and complete my graduate training. In other words, I was the tree cutter and didn’t even recognize it. Rereading this portion of Covey’s book with my working on calm mindset, was educational and inspiring.
Four dimensions for balanced self-renewal
Unlike the other habits of effectiveness, self-renewal requires focused attention. Self-renewal rarely feels urgent, and therefore we have to be proactive in engaging in the principles until this becomes a second nature habit. For example, I tend to check things off the list before making time for myself. Whether it’s guilt, the difficulty in creating new habits, or getting sidetracked by endless tasks, I have not historically prioritized my own self-care. The detrimental effects of my failure to prioritize self-care prompted my recent Commitment to Calm. Similarly, Covey recommends a planned, consistent approach to self-renewal.
According to Covey, we can preserve and enhance our greatest asset (ourselves), by focusing on these four dimensions of renewal.
1. Physical renewal
This dimension includes activities that maintain and enhance our physical health, like exercise, nutrition, and stress management. Covey recommends an exercise program you can do at home which focuses on endurance (cardio), flexibility, and strength. See my “moving” posts for multiple exercise ideas.
2. Spiritual renewal
A variety of activities can expand the spiritual self. Since this is often centered on our values, time spent on these activities provides leadership or direction to our lives. Creating a personal mission statement is one way to get clarity and direction. Additionally, some people turn to religious studies, but this could easily be fulfilled by spending time in nature, meditation, art, or music.
3. Mental renewal
Reading, visualizing, planning, and writing are ways to sharpen our mental saw. Once we’ve finished formal education, it’s really up to us to continue to educate ourselves. Covey argues we spend too much time on brainless activities like TV, and decreasing this frees up time for more beneficial self-renewal. I would argue in today’s world, cell phones have become more of a problem. My discussion of Digital Minimalism gives similar advice to put down the phone and focus on more valuable activities.
4. Social/emotional renewal
Engaging in activities that promote more meaningful connections with others fosters this dimension of self-renewal. This could include anyone you have a relationship with, from a co-worker, to family member, to neighbor. Covey sees every interaction we have with others as an opportunity to build connections. Consider a random act of connection or a gratitude letter as two means of social renewal.
Self-renewal as a habit
Covey recommends a proactive approach to making self-renewal a habit. Planning ahead of time and scheduling these activities is the only way to routinize sharpening the saw. He refers to this as an upward spiral of learn, commit, do, repeat, in which we get better and better at self-care until it becomes second nature. At first, it may seem burdensome to plan this type of self-care. However, the need to be proactive decreases as the habit is solidified.
Covey argues attention should be given to all four dimensions since they support and enhance each other. The better we get in one area, the better we will be in all other areas. Similarly, neglecting one aspect limits the impact of the others. He recommends an hour a day be devoted to the first three dimensions, what he refers to as a Daily Private Victory.
According to Covey, unlike the other three dimensions, social/emotional activities don’t require a daily time commitment since you naturally engage in social and emotional activities all day long. Simply, we need to approach these interactions as growth opportunities. I think this point is a bit dated. Instead, I would argue nowadays, many of us feel even more isolated with remote working and pandemic distancing. Our society focuses on social media over in-person interactions. I find it useful to schedule activities with my friends so I can’t neglect this dimension. Thus, I still find the social/emotional dimensions requires some intentional planning.
When I started my Commitment to Calm, I had to be structured in my self-care since none of it was habitual. This stuff wasn’t happening on its own. But the more I engaged in these acts of self-renewal (because I promised myself I would) the more I wanted to do them again (because I actually developed the desire to do them). Now, I don’t need as much external motivation to do yoga or meditate; the motivation is becoming intrinsic. But I’m still in the process of changing, which doesn’t happen overnight. I’m still working on all of it, particularly the gratitude and contentment pieces.
Start small
So much of Covey’s discussion applies to what I’ve been learning and writing about on the blog. I was happy to realize I’ve been sharpening my saw this year. His emphasis on the need to commit, plan, and evaluate progress are spot on. It’s just too easy to put this type of self-care off, as I’ve done for years. But I would suggest starting small.
It could be easy to read something like The Seven Habits, and make self-renewal one more task to do. However, the real value comes in being, not doing. Although the hour a day Covey recommends would be a daily victory, I think it’s better to just start somewhere. An hour can feel overwhelming and therefore cause stress or feelings of failure. Instead, approach your efforts to build a new habit with self-compassion. I recommend meeting yourself where you are, right now. Think of the power of one: choose one act of self-care you can do better today than yesterday. Start there and repeat each day.
Just as Covey instructs, we have to force ourselves to engage in self-care until it becomes a habit. That’s what I did this weekend after revisiting his book. I stepped away from the desk, did yoga, and meditated. I felt energized afterwards, giving me energy to make a homemade meal and play some family dodgeball. My small time investment in self-care rewarded me with even more. These are moments I might’ve missed out on if I were depleted from continuing to tackle the never-ended to-do list.
Inspired to make self-renewal a habit? Tell me about it. Leave me a comment!
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[1] https://www.simonandschuster.com/books/The-7-Habits-of-Highly-Effective-People/Stephen-R-Covey/9781982137137
