Judson Brewer’s Unwinding Anxiety offers a science-based approach to using mindfulness to regulate emotions and change habits. Learn to use Brewer’s RAIN mindfulness technique for stress relief.

Psychiatrist and neuroscientist Dr. Judson Brewer offers a science-based approach to using mindfulness to regulate emotions and change habits—especially the ones that keep us stuck in stress and overwhelm. While the book’s title speaks to anxiety, its message applies far more broadly: stress, avoidance, overeating, overplanning, procrastination, even doomscrolling. These, too, are habits we fall into when we’re trying to escape uncomfortable feelings.

The good news? With the right tools, we can learn to regulate our emotions and respond more intentionally. One of the most powerful techniques for doing this is mindfulness. Brewer offers two accessible tools to build mindfulness through awareness and curiosity: habit mapping and RAIN.

This post will walk you through the RAIN mindfulness technique, a simple, step-by-step framework to respond to stress more effectively.

For my post on Brewer’s habit mapping technique, read this.

Why Mindfulness Matters for Stress Relief

For those of us who are chronically stressed, mindfulness can sometimes feel vague or impractical—especially in the middle of a tough moment. Brewer addresses this by translating complex science into clear, actionable systems. He shows that mindfulness isn’t about clearing your mind. Instead, it’s about building awareness and curiosity—two trainable skills anyone can use to change their response to stress.

Step 1: Awareness

Mindfulness for stress relief starts with awareness—the ability to pay close attention without immediately trying to fix, avoid, or suppress what’s happening. Awareness helps you stay present, notice what’s really going on, and begin to make more helpful choices.

Instead of running from discomfort, you learn to sit with it. Instead of reacting—yelling, eating, avoiding—you pause and observe. As Brewer reminds himself in tough moments:

“Don’t just do something—sit there.” (p.73)

Step 2: Curiosity

Mindfulness doesn’t stop with noticing. The next step is curiosity—a gentle, open approach to your experience that suspends judgment.

Ask yourself:

  • What does stress actually feel like in my body?
  • How do I usually respond when I feel this way?
  • Is my reaction really helping?

This is what makes mindfulness so effective for stress relief. Stress habits—from yelling to overthinking—can feel urgent and necessary in the moment. But when you pause to investigate, you can begin to see the full picture. The urgency begins to dissolve.

Through awareness and curiosity, mindfulness becomes a real, practical tool. You stop reacting on autopilot and begin choosing responses that support your well-being.

Step 3: Reward

Brewer’s next step is to offer your brain a “Bigger Better Offer“—a response that’s more satisfying, more nourishing, or more aligned with your long-term values than your usual reaction. Since the brain learns through reward, this step is critical for creating lasting change.

He notes that awareness and curiosity can become rewarding in themselves—if you pause to notice how much better it feels than falling into old patterns. Or, you might use a breathing technique, practice self-compassion, or simply savor the feeling of not reacting. With repetition, these more rewarding behaviors become your new habits.

Why Mindfulness Works

Brewer has conducted extensive research on the brain’s learning systems and how mindfulness can rewire them. His lab has developed several evidence-based apps for habit change—used in clinical settings and by the general public.

Here are some highlights from his research:

  • 63% reduction in anxiety for those with Generalized Anxiety Disorder
  • 57% reduction in anxiety among physicians using the app for three months

These outcomes show that mindfulness is more than a nice idea—it’s a measurable, effective approach to stress relief and emotional regulation.

How to Practice: RAIN Mindfulness Technique for Stress Relief

To apply Brewer’s approach to stress management, try this practical framework. It’s a modified version of the RAIN technique, used in meditation and mindfulness circles.

I previously discussed my use of RAIN to work through anxiety here!

RAIN

R – Recognize
Notice the trigger. Are you feeling anxious, overwhelmed, criticized, or tired? What situation or physical sensation just set something off? If necessary, use habit mapping to track recurring patterns.

A – Allow
Rather than jumping to fix it or escape it, allow the sensation to be there. Sit with the feeling, even for a few seconds. This moment of non-reactivity opens the door to change.

I – Investigate
Be curious. What’s happening in your body? Do you feel tension, heat, restlessness? What emotions are surfacing—fear, shame, urgency?

N – Nurture
Reflect on how you typically react. What’s the usual outcome—short-term and long-term? Then, choose something more rewarding: a breath, a gentle word to yourself, a pause. When it helps—even a little—savor that moment. This reinforces the new habit.

Note: Brewer’s original acronym uses “Note” for the final step—simply noting what’s present. While that works, I prefer “Nurture,” which emphasizes the importance of choosing a healthier reward and reinforcing it through care.

Final Tips for Practicing RAIN

Be patient.
You’ve had years to build automatic stress responses. It takes time to build awareness and curiosity, and to retrain your nervous system. Be gentle with yourself.

Reflect without judgment.
If you lose your cool or fall back into old habits, use it as a learning opportunity. Ask: What triggered it? What can I notice or try differently next time?

Let go of “why.”
Brewer emphasizes that why often doesn’t matter when breaking habits. Analysis can keep you stuck. Focus instead on what is happening in the present.

Try asking yourself:

  • Hmmm, what’s happening in my body right now?
  • Hmmm, what do I usually do when I feel like this?
  • Hmmm, what could I do that would actually help me feel better?

Stress Relief Starts with Mindfulness

Mindfulness for stress relief isn’t about being calm all the time—it’s about changing the way you relate to stress. Unwinding Anxiety teaches us that stress responses are often habits we’ve learned. With awareness and curiosity, you can unlearn them and choose what truly serves you.

Small Changes, Big Transformation

RAIN is one small yet powerful step toward better stress management. Wellness doesn’t have to feel so overwhelming. Try this practice this week—and let me know how it goes!

Need help putting this into practice?

When you’re ready to go beyond reading and start applying these tools in your daily life or workplace, I can help. I offer 1-on-1 coaching and customized trainings for organizations. Let’s work on it!

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